Category Archives: Inventions

Invention Series Part 3: the secret delivery box

It’s built into the wall. Invisible to baby and onlookers, but opens when you need it and works similarly to a bank tubey-shooty-thing…

I would send passies. I would send blankies. I would send a bottle. And maybe the occasional snack.

I’m all for baby snuggles, but you know how sometimes your baby is almost asleep and then she loses her favorite little passie device? But you going in there results in her jumping up and down cribside, excited that you might be getting her out? (even when she is super tired and needs the nap…)

This. happens. all. the. time.

I call this invention the passie/blankie delivery service, aka

secret delivery box

It’s also fun to send books and toys to surprise baby with fun activities if he or she is up way earlier than you would like to get him or her out of the crib. You can also use it for when your kid grows up, like when they’re hardcore grounded. You can send them bread and water, and they can send you their completed essay on why they shouldn’t drink or do whatever they were grounded for.

Yeah. Someone needs to start building this into walls. ❤

Thanks in advance.

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Invention Series Part II: The SMART FRIDGE

“Hello, welcome to your local appliance superstore. Let me introduce you to ‘SMIDGE’, our newest SMART FRIDGE.

-She keeps you on track for your water drinking goals, by reminding you vocally every two hours to drink your 8oz.

-She recognizes when leftovers have started growing bacteria, and disposes of them for you, leaving the bowl in a “clean dishes” side compartment. (Her most far-fetched and highly sought after quality!)

-She has a special awesome-looking beverage compartment for entertaining, and she has speakers that play music based on your mood.

-She also has a wine decanting dispenser next to the water dispenser, of course there is a fingerprint security sensor and quantity-tracking device so you can be sure no one is sneaking wine. 😉

-And to top it all off, the interior is self-cleaning as is her stainless steel exterior.

Smidge can be yours for the low price of…priceless!”

Samsung Side by Side Refrigerators are incredible units, with awesome features like LCD wifi touchscreens

Done. I’ll take 2.

Invention Series: Part 1-Teleportation Transportation

Go big or go home. Right? Call me a dreamer, but someone needs to invent a way to TELEPORT (aka: apparate.)

Harry felt Dumbledore‘s arm twist away from him and re-doubled his grip: the next thing he knew everything went black; he was pressed very hard from all directions; he could not breathe, there were iron bands tightening around his chest; his eyeballs were being forced back into his head; his ear-drums were being pushed deeper into his skull.
Harry Potter‘s first experience with Apparition.

Apparition is a magical method of transportation and is basically the magical action of traveling by having the user focus on a desired location in their mind, then disappear from their current location and instantly reappear at the desired location; in short, it is a form of teleportation.

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It would save so much money and be so much safer! We wouldn’t have to worry about cars and planes crashing…we wouldn’t have to worry about wasting our life savings to go visit Europe. We wouldn’t have to drop off and pick up our kids at all zillion of their activities! People who needed to get to the ER immediately would make it in time! Not to mention the INSANE convenience factor. (AHH, I get giddy just thinking about it! NO MORE CARSEATS!)

I understand, you’re probably thinking:

1. Creepers. Don’t think I need to expand on this one.

2. Stealers. people would teleport into venues/bank vaults/back of stores/ etc.

3. ER’s would be packed with people.

4. Jobs lost. HELLO, Liv, Bus drivers? Pilots? TSA people? Cab drivers? (okay, okay, I’ll try to come up with a solution!)

This is what I’m thinking.

There would be “Teleportation Stations”  that you traveled to and from AND IT WOULD ONLY WORK if your trip fell under the jurisdiction of two important rules:

1. Nothing illegal.

2. Nothing immoral. (Subjectivity, schmujectivity).

Everyone working in the transportation industry would just switch jobs into the teleportation industry…or maybe get unemployment for the rest of forever since govt money is free, right?! Maybe you would still have to pay to teleport, depending on how far you were going…(think minimal amounts of money…while we’re at it =). There would be teleportation designers, companies, security, pilots, attendants, etc! As an added plus: obesity would be eliminated because you would still have to walk a lot like they do in Europe and obviously, crime would be eliminated too. See rule #1.

Yeah. It would be sweet. Totally foolproof. Just dream with me for a few minutes would you?!

Screen Shot 2013-11-12 at 3.39.53 PM(except the station needs to be big enough to take a double stroller/wheelchair)

My other inventions are less fantasy and more reality…but seriously, how awesome would it be? I thought I would put this idea out there first so the overachievers reading could get to work on it ASAP. You will be rich!

Inventions…part 0

I grew up wanting to be an inventor. (And a lawyer, a movie star, an astronaut, and the first female president.) Pretty sure I was trying to impress my parents. But when push came to shove, I realized that those five things most likely wouldn’t pan out. 1) I couldn’t find people to invest in my “inventions” 2) I don’t love school 3) I’m not that great at acting 4) Being in space sounds more scary than cool now (not to mention MORE SCHOOL) and 5) I SERIOUSLY don’t “get” politics.

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When I got my first full time job as a recruiter, my inner-free-spirit was so stifled that I quit a year in. I realized that maybe I was just wired to do random activities and side jobs. I began pursuing yoga instructing, writing, and my (crazy) journey down i-want-a-baby lane. Truth be told, I’ve always been a busy bee between random activities and part time jobs.

But even in my hippity hoppity adulthood, I can’t shut off my inner inventor! ALMOST EVERYDAY I think of something else I wish was invented. If it’s not something new I’m thinking up, I’m convincing myself that my past theoretical inventions really should be invented.

My friend Jennifer and I used to sit up in her playroom and invent things (better defined as “think up things that should be invented”). I kid you not…YEARS before you could get zip off pants at the sporting goods store, WE thought of them because we were always unsure of whether the weather called for pants or (too-short) shorts! (hott, I know)

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Another idea we were convinced we would coin was the “recliner with built in cup holders and remote control holders.” BOOM…a few short years later there they were on the floors at furniture stores!  You better believe we had “I-told-you-so” conversations with our parents who had laughed and said “cute” when we presented them with our million dollar ideas!

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In middle school, my friend Bekah and I invented candy steam. You took a film canister (old school-yes) and put smarties inside. You shook it up really hard and then removed the cap and inhaled the delicious candy steam. We thought it was great because it was calorie free (Jr. High-weight-conscious girls….another post for another day) and we felt cool sucking in the steam. Sorta like reverse smoking. My parents are attorneys so I thought for sure they would help me get a patent on the product. We still haven’t seen that one on the shelves. (haha)

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Maybe it’s the spoiled American in me, but I’m always thinking of new things that I want that haven’t been invented yet! BUT with two kiddos under 21 months and my 3 random side jobs (writing, holy yoga instructing & doing 10 hrs/wk of marketing for my hubby)  I just don’t have time to patent, craft prototypes, get on shark tank and of course I also don’t have time for the fame and fortune that would come with all that :D. SO, I’m hoping maybe YOU CAN!!

This is the teaser installment of my Invention series. Each week, I’m going to post a new invention idea and I totally give all of you readers my official “okay” to go make it happen. You will be rich! (All I ask is that I get one for free, deal?!)

What do you wish you could buy? What are your invention ideas? Would you buy my candy steam? (lol) What did you want to be when you grew up?