My Love but mostly Hate relationship

Have you ever been on bed rest before?

If so, then you know how utterly hard it is, especially if you love to exercise and be on the go. I’ve not been on a 100% legit bedrest, because I’m taking care of a 24 pound baby and definitely still doing some daily functional shopping and household stuff, but exercise of ANY sort has been off limits.

This is why I hate you bedrest:

1. You are stealing from me the whole notion of being a “fit” pregnant person. Regardless of if my belly is big yet or not, (it’s not quite yet…although the pants are getting tighter), I am not in shape, nor are you allowing me the chance to try to be a fit preggo. This is sad to me, because fitness has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, and I have had to literally give it all up. Yoga, walking, running, etc. I just always imagined myself being really fit throughout my pregnancies. *sigh*

2. You give the OPPOSITE effect that coffee or an energy drink would give. Not only am I exhausted because HCG is overtaking my body, but also I don’t do any “extra” activity than is required of me, therefore I am completely and 100% lethargic…All. The. Time. The pregnancy perpetuates the bedrest (because we’re trying EVERYTHING!!) and the bedrest perpetuates exhaustion. This is awesome for being a wife of noble character (not). This leads to:

3. GUILT. You make me feel so darn guilty for so many reasons. I feel most guilty when I drive past a runner who looks like they have their second wind and I have flashbacks to my running days and have to look away or I might be tempted to go home and run (which is completely off limits.) I also feel like guilt is eating me alive at the end of each day when I try to recount to my super hard working husband what I’ve done throughout the day. “Uhh, well fed Coleton x amount of times and…put in a load of laundry?” haha. This is usally how that conversation goes. Followed by me breaking down into tears (ok the tears are only once or twice/weekly) because I want to be a “better wife and take good care of the house.” Then Kev usually reminds me that he doesn’t expect anything of me right now and he is so glad that I’m still sick and tired, and then we pray over my guilt for God to replace it with peace and it’s okay. Geesh.

4. You took away my Yoga!!! I am still teaching Holy Yoga occasionally, but without doing the poses myself. Oh, flexible and toned self, how I already miss you!

5. I am missing out my very favorite time of year! The leaves are changing, kids are playing outside, fit people are going on daily LONG RUNS and I’m indoors grasping onto what little bit of sanity I can find.

6. I’m embarrassingly out of breath after climbing steps or even during a quick shopping trip. I’m seriously being taught a lesson in humility.

And this is why I love you:

1. First and foremost, you have probably helped me make it through the trecherous first weeks of pregnancy…something lots of other things have failed to do.

{For this, I thank God for sending a few people into our lives. One being a woman at a wedding who told us she had 7 miscarriages and then was able to carry 3 babies to term doing bedrest, and also one of Kevin’s doctor clients who recommended that I “lay on the couch and eat ice cream” until I’m through the first trimester. We thank you both for your advice.}

2. In a selfish way I sorta like watching episodes of shows on Netflix and doing nothing. I’ve never experienced it in my life, and it’s strangely nice, feeling like this is what I’m supposed to be doing (ON OCCASION.) At least it is medically recommended laziness, I remind myself 🙂

3. “Dinner isn’t made again and you aren’t mad at me babe?” Of course not, you’re sick and pregnant and on bedrest. 🙂

4. I really feel like even though it’s extremely hard, I’m doing everything I can to ensure the health of this baby. With our first miscarriage, there were some strange correlations with a really intense workout I did around the time of our loss. I know people say it’s not from that, but giving up working out has been really freeing in some ways. I think I was always afraid that if I were to stop working out regularly I would balloon into a whale or something, but it hasn’t happened after 12 weeks of no exercise!! woot woot!

Now that we’re into the 13th week, Coleton and I (and Scotch-our labradoodle who desperately needs a bath) have started taking short walks around the block to get some fresh air, some sanity, and hopefully some much needed oxygen into this well rested body! GLORY HALLELUJAH!!

Coleton and I are obsessed with these walks. Hopefully little by little I’ll get stronger and they’ll get longer and it won’t be much of a risk. And oh my goodness I never thought I’d look so DESPERATELY forward to training for my first marathon after having this baby!~

So hopefully you have never had to be on bedrest, but if you have, I feel for you sista. But it’s only temporary, and maybe you can encourage me that it will be worth it!!

Much love,
liv

PS. I found a really funny bedrest pic on google, but I’m posting from our ipad while my computer is getting a new hard drive (tear) so I can’t figure out how to add it. You’ll just have to envision a funny pic on your own. :/ haha.

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4 thoughts on “My Love but mostly Hate relationship

  1. Yea pregnancy has a way of revealing and then striping you of any of olds you didn’t know you had. Kinda sucks, kinda rocks. Oh life, will the lessons/santification ever be easy?? 😉 doubt it

  2. Oh, I know how you feel. Two years ago I was on bedrest with my twins this time of year. I was stuck in Peoria, away from my two other children, and missing everything. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, laying so still for so long. But it was also one of the best things I have done because I have two healthy baby girls who made it here and are healthy. Hang in there. I so know how all those emotions take you back and forth, back and forth…it’s not so bad, this is horrible, why can’t I just be normal again?! Feeling like you’re missing everything. Oh, those days were so long… but it gets better…just like everybody said it would. I remember doctors and family saying, “Enjoy this rest, because you’re not going to get it again with four running around. You will be wanting to come back here.” I didn’t enjoy it that much and honestly, I don’t want to go back. But one day off at home is kinda nice. lol.
    Boy, sorry this is so long. I understand the experience. It’s kinda life changing…just like having babies.

  3. This post inspired me. I currently was placed on bedrest and have been really discouraged because I feel like I should be getting so much done, but at this point I physically cannot. Your post was very encouraging to me because now I see that others are having the same struggles as I am.

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